btc-official:

dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called-

me: i dont wanna hear it man. last week it was slutweed, the week before that it was the jpeg weed that kept clipping through the paper, just give me the normal shit

dealer: aw come on man i got the cocomelon weed👶 i got the analog horror weed👁 i even got the pizza tower weed🍕 dont worry its not just oregano😉🌿

me: do you even sell normal weed. are you some kind of fucking trickster spirit.

high pitched gnomish voice from somewhere in dealer’s giant trenchcoat: i thinjk shes onto us boss

im-a-goat-in-disguise:

castrovulcant:

look at my poll boy⠀

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lesserknownwaifus:

The tanktop female zombie in Resident Evil

e-6000:

fifiibibii:

guys please im a twitter migrant what happened with that old dog sanctuary blog pls educate me

So there is a dog shelter(?) for senior dogs called Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary. They had a couple social media pages, among them a tumblr page. They’d repost posts from their Facebook about the different dogs at the shelter, very cute stuff. This goes on for months, it gets popular bc people love dogs. One day the blog (entirely out of the blue) posts “I just want to get dicked down again =/” and then never posts again. Everyone involved was like hey what the fuck so they messaged the Facebook page and they were like hey is the person running your tumblr page okay they’ve been acting real weird, and the person running the Facebook page was like huh??? We don’t have a tumblr page????

just-dnd-thingys:

dankovskaya:

hollowboobtheory:

can’t believe I nearly forgot to share this

@silenthill2ps2

ohfuck-abastard:

justmice:

justmice:

I’m p

Yes I’m

Yes hmmms ow

Eh

Tnhk

Tumblr wouldn’t let me upload the video but I let the mice write a tumblr post for me and this is the result :^)

i thought that was just. a regular tumblr post and accepted it

saintends:

amazoogle:

amazoogle:

scissorsisters:

Begging everyone on the internet to stop smoothing out their middle aged men and draw wrinkles for the love of god I promise it’s so fun you’ll love it Come into my wine cellar

no.

Did you just DeWalt my fucking white

pleasantchimera:

Problems with the drive thru